Sadie

I can't believe that I haven't blogged for 6 months.  It's not as if nothing has happened in my life.  The latest has revolved around my amazing Sadie. 

Sadie started getting fatty cyst several years ago.  They have always been small and round until last summer when a large one grew suddenly under her left front leg.  I took her to the vet and had it checked out.  He confirmed that it was a cyst.  That cyst has gotten huge--about the size of a large grapefruit. It has started to affect her ability to walk, run and even sit for long periods of time. 

She was due for her check up so we made an appointment.  We had a long conversation with the vet about our options and what we should do given that she turned 10 years old.  He gave us an estimate of $1500 for surgery.  The Cowboy and I debated several days about what to do and I even called my friend who is a vet.  After talking to her, we decided to go ahead with the surgery.

That next day, 10 years to the date that I brought home my puppy, we took her in for x-rays and blood work.  Then the bad news came.  I got the phone call in the middle of a meeting and had to excuse myself and then cried most of the next hour. 

Cowboy and I met at the vet's office to view the x-rays and hear the news again.  At some point in my dogs life, she got a hernia in her diaphragm and a large portion of her intestines are in her chest cavity.  We saw the x-rays.  She has about 50% of her lung capacity left.  No long walks, no surgery, no relief for her leg. 

We are so sad. We have problems trying to decide what is best for her--baby her, give in to her, let her do what she wants.  All I really know is Sadie has been my world and loved me when it was just us.  I can't remember what my life was like without her.  I want her to be with me forever.  That forever is much shorter and I only want to make the best decisions for her.  I'm so sad.  My heart hurts.