First and foremost, Merry Christmas to all.
I'll start from where I left off in my last post. My mom was admitted to the hospital on the 13th, where they treated her for her bladder infection and watched her calcium levels go down (but not enough in my opinion). On Thursday of that week, she was transferred to a nursing home for physical therapy to start walking and regaining her strength.
I went to visit her on that Friday. She was aware of where she was and not happy about it. She was not walking but would get up and walk some. She was feeding herself and asking to smoke and leave. She wasn't where I had hoped but seemed to be getting some better.
I had to go back to work so I didn't see her until Wednesday. My sister had spent several days with her and kept saying she wasn't getting any better. She took mom to the dr on Monday and they had scheduled a CatScan for Wednesday.
On Wednesday, I went back to see her. She was so much worse. I spent the day crying--I tried to not cry in front of her but the tears kept coming. She couldn't talk, walk or feed herself. She was confused but seemed to know what was going on. I had stopped at her dr's office to ask him to see her but he was out of the office. They scheduled an appt for Thursday.
My heart was so broken. Everyone in the family was so very worried and there were more tears shed than has been cried by our family in the past ten years. I stayed at my parents house on Wednesday night. Cowboy was coming down of Friday for our Christmas celebration.
Thursday morning, when I arrived at the nursing home, mom couldn't even sit up straight in her wheel chair. She was so out of it. More tears for me. I took her to the dr and he took one look at her and sent her to the ER. Thank God. Once she was at the ER, the doctor there took time to look at her records and did a few blood test and sent her on to KU Med center. Again, thank God.
Her calcium levels were up another point--normal is 10. She was at 13.8, up from 12.8 when she was first hospitalized a week before. I left to pack my things and head back home. Cowboy and I met mom at the hospital. Within one hour, they had done more test on her then had been done in the previous two weeks.
She has now been in the hospital for 4 days and is finally to talk and is starting to eat on her own. She is scared and wants to go home but seems to be doing so much better then what she was.
They are thinking that there is a tumor on her parathyroid gland that is causing it to overproduce calcium and making her calcium level to elevate to the point of toxic levels.
This has been the scariest event. I'm thankful that mom is on the mend. It has been the best Christmas present ever. I realized how much my mom means to me and my family. She is a rock for our whole family. I'm praying for a full recovery.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
First and foremost, Merry Christmas to all.
Monday, December 13, 2010
This weekend was such a bag of mixed emotions. On Saturday, my niece came up and we crafted Christmas presents all weekend. It was a blast and I totally enjoyed myself and I think she did too.
Sunday was my family (extended) Christmas lunch. I was so looking forward to spending time with the cousins and catching up. This was our year to host so I went straight to the building before stopping by Mom and Dad's. When Mom arrived, I was surprised and shocked. She looked so bad--really beyond bad. She was barely coherent and couldn't really talk. She would start to say something and then loose track of what she was saying and she couldn't stand and walk without someone holding on to her.
About 1:30p, she wanted to go home so my nephew and I helped her home and put her to bed. When I got back to the gathering, I talked with my dad and he broke down and started crying. I've only seen my dad cry once in his life at his mom's funeral. My heart broke. He doesn't know what to do or how to handle the situation. So we put together a plan. My sister would go with him to the hospital for pre-op instructions. My brother and I would take off work and call my mom's doctor and deal with mom.
Long story short, straight to the ER where they found out mom had a really severe bladder infection and very toxic calcium levels. She was admitted and now we're hoping we can get her medicine figured out and get her on the road to recovery.
The whole situation has taken an emotional toll on everyone. My heart breaks for both of my parents.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Cowboy being gone at this time of year is great because it allows me time to decorate for Christmas. However, I decided that before I could decorate, the house needed to be cleaned. Heating our house with a wood stove is great because we don't have a huge gas bill but the downside is dust. I was sitting on the couch and noticed the fine layer of dust under the couches, table, entertainment center, etc. It was driving me crazy. So I cleaned under everything. I mean everything and then put a floor polish on the hardwoods.
Our house is spotless. It looks great and all "Christmas-ie". I feel like I got a ton accomplished today and Cowboy will never know how much work it took.
So the fan on the wood stove stopped working and the kitchen sink is not draining very fast. Actually, it drains at the rate of a turtle stuck in his shell. I had to break down and tell Cowboy after my awesome neighbor came over to look at it. I was hoping it would get fixed before he came home. No such luck.
Speaking of Cowboy. He called me today and told me that my folks invited him to the community supper. He went and ate and played bingo. It just cracks me up to think of him going to our small town community dinner and playing bingo with all the old country folks.
Tomorrow is craft day. That is after I sleep in forever in the morning.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
I secretly love this time of year. No not the beginning of Winter or December, but the beginning of deer season. Cowboy leaves me for several days. He's gone and I get the whole house to myself. No one complaining if I'm blogging or on Facebook. No one to pick up after or complain if I don't have the dishes done. No one to tell me what I need to do or what I should do.
I'm going to decorate for Christmas. It's so much better to do this with Cowboy being gone. He won't complain about the mess or the fuss that goes into making the house look festive.
I like my moments of singleness. I was single for 40 years give or take a few relationship in there. I like revisiting the times of being single. But don't want to go back so my little vacation is a nice break.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
I'm really irritated with work. It's getting under my skin. The issues is really about having some folks on staff that need to develop more skills in working with people. (My staff is being punitive with clients right now.) We've identified that and will develop a plan to improve that but still, it gets to me.
When something starts to bother me, I tend to get bothered by every little thing. One area that is really bugging me is the work ethic of some of my staff. They are late to work but expect to leave right on time and then complain when their work is not done. They expect to not have any problems or consequences when all of their work is not done. And then they get mad at me when I have to address the problem.
I was talking with a co-worker about this and she made a comment about the new generation of worker. Really, have we lost our work ethic. Has our society really forgotten that we can't get things for free. Have we lost the value of doing an honest days labor and settle for instant gratification and selfishness?
I hope not. I hope it's just me being annoyed.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
It's been a busy week and no blogging was done. So just like last week, here's a recap.
Sunday: Dinner with the son and daughter-in-law was good. Everything turned out good and the boys ate a ton. I tried making an apple pie for the first time ever and it turned out yummy. We spent most of the day there. It was good.
Monday: My boss finally finalized my evaluation and it was very good. My hard work was noticed and I even got an unusual bonus. It was big and nice and I was thrilled.
Tuesday: nothing exciting happened.
Wednesday: I earned every bit of my bonus and more. Work was frustrating and I was only there until 12:30pm. I rushed over to my friends house and to decorate for her wedding. Then it was off to home to pack and back for the wedding. The wedding was very nice and they were surrounded by their family and friends without lots of big to-do. I drove home and Cowboy stayed behind.
Thursday: Cowboy came to the farm and I cooked the big Thanksgiving meal for the whole family. The family was there and we had a great day. I love spending time with all the siblings and my mom and dad. I am very fortunate to have the loving family that I have.
Friday and Saturday: Both days were very trying for me. My mom isn't getting around very well. We spent most of the day in the house doing nothing and I mean, nothing. Friday night we did go eat Mexican and Saturday we did venture to town to buy cornbread. I love my parents dearly and it's hard to watch them age and not be able to get around very well. Dad is having knee replacement surgery in Jan. Mom is just struggling to walk and get around well. She's almost stopped driving all together and doesn't have much energy. I know the were thrilled to have us home.
Sunday: Cowboy and I left the farm early. He had a large load of wood on his new trailer. I got home to do laundry and then worked in the yard for about 3 hours. Cowboy unloaded wood and then we went to the store and bought a new TV. Yeah, we had talked about getting one for a long time and have looked and looked. It was our Christmas present to each other. I got it all set up and it's awesome.
On another note, I'm wedding ringless. We have a neighbor who is a jeweler and he is making a band of diamond to go with with ring. He is using diamonds from a ring that I inherited from my grandmother. I'm so excited. He said it should be done this week.
In a week that we think about all that we are thankful for, I must say that I am thankful for my wonderful family, all my great friends, my amazing husband, my loving dog and all the blessings that I have been given in my life.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Time to Recap the week:
Last Sunday: Cowboy best buddy drove through town after deer hunting and ended up staying all night. Cowboy was pretty happy to see him. He lives in Tennessee and doesn't get to spend much time with him so it was good to have him around.
Monday: The state was in to audit our programs this week. It's a big deal and I remember when I first started that we did a lot of scrambling around to make sure everything is like it should be. We don't do that anymore but it's still stressful and not a fun process. They were her until Thursday. We ended up having to give $520. $0 from my program. Great audit for us, since most agencies our size gives back $3000 and our mental health side of the agency had to give back $6000.
Tuesday: pretty non-eventful day--more state auditing.
Wednesday: My friend came over to have a dress altered and I ended up ruining the dress. I was ironing the part that I fixed and the iron melted a hole. I felt so horrible. I ran to the fabric store to find some matching fabric with no luck. But I came up with a plan.
Thursday: My quest continued to find fabric. No luck so I presented my options to my friend. I hope she continues to be my friend. I also decided that I wasn't working on Friday. My little celebration for a great audit.
Friday: We decided to play it by ear. Stayed in bed until 9:30. Went to the gym. Came home and Cowboy's friend returned. They went out and shot pool for a couple of hours. They came home a little tipsy. Cowboy managed to grill steaks and we had a yummy dinner.
Saturday: I found a great tee time, at a great course for a great price. We headed out to play the last round of the year. Cowboy and I had a couple play in with us and it turns out the the guy that joined us was the little brother of a friend of mine 20+ years ago. (I had such a huge crush on his older brother). Small world. I parred the last hold to win dinner. It was a fun day.
Sunday: (not here yet) We are planning on going over to Cowboy's son's house and taking a BIG thanksgiving dinner over there.
These three days off have been very good for me. I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving and time down on the farm.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
I'm tired. Sleep issues. I can fall asleep but I can't stay asleep. I'm awake for a couple of hours in the middle of the night. It doesn't make me happy. I just want to sleep every single night all night long. Is that too much to ask? A week of solid sleep with no getting up to pee, letting the dog out, is that too much to ask for? Really, I don't want to be selfish but couldn't that just happen for me?
Monday, November 15, 2010
I seem to always end up in a leadership role. Sometimes by choice, sometimes by work and sometimes because no one else steps forward. I don't really mind most of the time. Except tonight. I came home to a message from a neighbor complaining rudely about another neighbor. So much for being president of the Home Owner Association. Can I duck this responsibility? Don't think I can ignore this one. We have the hoarders that have moved in next door. Actually the hillbilly hoarders have moved in. They fenced in their backyard for the dog but when I drove by the other day, the back yard was filled with junk. So now they put up an 8 sided chain link fence (like panels) for their dog. The back of the house is lined with 5 gallon buckets. And now there are 7 cars in the driveway with one being a big old "dollar" van. Really! Really-- just go away.
On another note, our insurance company denied paying for a doctors visit for Cowboy. It was only $68 but it's $68 that they need to pay. So I appealed the denial. We finally got the news today that it was overturned and the insurance company is paying....good for me. My husband was just going to pay it. Yeah for me again!
Monday, November 8, 2010
Have you ever been in a grocery store, you have seen little kid throwing an absolute fit and their parent acting even worse. It makes me want to step in most of the time and break up the situation for both the kids sake and the parent sake.
Tonight, I stopped by the grocery store and it must have been bring you kids grocery shopping night. Lots of kids everywhere.
As I was approaching an isle, I heard a dad say, "I'm about ready to throw your toy away, then we wouldn't have all this drama." My first thought was, here we go again--another big scene where both lose control and it all turns out bad.
However, when I got to the end of the isle, I saw the dad standing face to face with his about 7 year old daughter. She had her hands resting on his and they were looking each other in the eye and he was saying to her, "I just want you to breathe". She was calming down and the drama was done. What a wonderful way to deal with a trying situation.
Friday, November 5, 2010
My poor sadie got bit. We have a fence across the street from us that is old and rickety. I know there are two dogs that stay in that back yard. Every time I walk Sadie past this fence, the two dogs bark and then will sometimes get in a fight or some kind of skirmish. Last week, they got out and Cowboy and a neighbor semi patched the fence.
Well the dogs busted through the fence again today and came after Sadie. Cowboy was outside but didn't see it happen and Sadie ran into the garage. But one of them, bit Sadie on the front shoulder. She was bleeding a lot.
Cowboy cleaned her up and took the bloody towel over to the dog owners house. He said he 'didn't chew his ass' much but firmly let him know he needed to fix his fence and not let he dogs bust through the fence. Cowboy then helped him find his dogs and get them back home.
He has pampered Sadie all evening. My poor baby girl. She is not a fighter. She's a lover.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
So the question of the day yesterday...What is something your partner does not know about you?
So I posed the question to Cowboy. At first, he said I knew everything about him. But as we talked more and more, I actually learned a few things about him.
When he was 4 years old, his family was very poor. His dad and his uncle went to a nearby city to a department store. They had lots of kids bicycles in the front of the store. Cowboy's dad found a bike and walked it up and down the front of the store and when he got to the end, he kept on walking. Put it in the back of the truck and drove out of town. Cowboy loved the bike. It wasn't until years later that he found out his dad didn't actually pay for the bike.
Another year, when money was scarce, Cowboy's mom said she didn't want the usual cedar tree from the pasture but they couldn't afford $25 for a store bought tree. Cowboy and his buddy went to town and got a tree and delivered it to his mom at 10p at night. His mom asked where he got it and Cowboy replied that he got the tree from the store. His mom noted that the store closed at 8p. Yep...he just helped himself to the tree. He put it in the back of the truck, laid down with it and rode that way until he got out to the country.
Cowboy's family and Christmas....oh, my.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
I swear when I retire I'm going to write a book. No two books. One will be about all the excuse that clients give when they test positive for drugs.....
"I was having sex with my boyfriend and he was using it." Really? Like his sperm will absorb into your blood stream.
"I wasn't using it, I was just touching it." Really, so if you touched gasoline, you would pee it out?
My next book...They crazy things that employees do that will get them fired.
It's okay to come to work as a substance abuse counselor drunk. And not just drunk, blowing a .25 drunk.
Or apparently, it's no problem to move clients into you home and have sex with them.
Really, what is wrong with people.
Monday, November 1, 2010
My friend is getting married. I stopped by her house tonight to look at a few wedding plans. I called Cowboy on my way home. He asked if my friend was excited. I made the comment that I hoped that they could be at least as half as happy as we are. To which Cowboy replied, "if they could be half as happy as we are, they will be twice as happy as most people."
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Cowboy buys and sells for a living. He will look for car, trucks, windmills, you name it for other people and will charge a small finders fee for buying something or a small fee for selling something for someone else.
This week he found a sweet, 2006 Grand Prix, fully loaded, super clean car with 44, 000 miles for $8500 for my niece. He was teasing her about a finders fee.
Today, my sister was her along with my mom, other sister and niece. My sister tried to give Cowboy some money for finding the car. But Cowboy wouldn't take it.
He told me later he thought of the perfect thing to say only a little late. He said he should have said, "I don't want a finders fee from the Page family, because I already found the best thing about the Page family, MJ."
Sunday, October 24, 2010
One of my favorite things to do in the fall, is to go to craft shows. I get great ideas and find great things to buy. A craft show that I went to a couple of weeks ago, I found a booth that was selling charms and beads. I found a couple of charms that I loved and then picked out 5 beads and the lady made the necklace for me right on the spot. Here is the pics of it. I love it.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
So we finally got DT (the deer) home from the taxidermy shop. We named him DT for his drop tine. We then had to re-arrange the man's room. Cowboy is very proud of his deer and is looking forward to shooting his son this winter.
He looks really good and his eyes are so lifelike.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
It seems like the last couple of weeks, I have turned over my cooking duties to my hubby. I love to cook. And so does he. Many nights, he will take over since I have worked all day. And I have let him do this. I love being pampered.
This week, I got back in the kitchen--well, at least, two nights this week, I have gotten back in the kitchen. It felt good. I love to cook. I especially love to cook for my hubby. I think I'll make a commitment to cook at least one night a week.
Oh, I even cleaned up and did the dishes. I usually let him do that also. Not going to guarantee that I will do that all the time.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Cowboy and I went out for dinner and on our way home, we catch the neighborhood teenager making out in the car with his girlfriend. Cowboy slows down so the head lights are shining in the car. He then drives by slowly and honks and give the poor kid the thumbs.
Cowboy said it reminded him of the saying, "She the little girl all dressed in pink, she's the one that made my finger stink". To which I replied, "You would know". He said they were all stories, just stories.
He said, the guys would sit around the break room and say, "tell us a story Whitey" and he would tell stories about making his finger stink.
He's a dandy.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
My Cowboy spoils me all the time. But he spoils me especially when it that "time of the month".
I think that he is afraid of period time.
I also think that he's thankful that he's not a woman and doesn't go through this monthly.
Whatever it is, I'll let him spoil me. He fixes my dinner and lets me eat it in front of the TV. He lets me skip the gym in the morning. I get out of washing the dishes.
Life is grand except, cramps, emotions, and all the glory that goes with mother nature's blessing.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Life is just moving along and it seems like it's just moving faster everyday. So here's my goings ons as of late.....
1) Watched my nephew play in a golf tournament today (actually I only got to watch 9 holes). I'm so proud of him. He is an outstanding young man and has so much in store for him.
2) Call me Madam President for one more year. The Home Owner's association had their annual meeting today and I was re-elected.
3) My wonderful hubby got my hot tub up and going and I've been visiting it frequently.
4) Again the hubby shot his first deer of the season, which meant that I had lots of work to do. But we now have 8 lbs of deer jerky and 25 loaves of summer sausage. He thinks he will shoot two more.
5) The deer from last year is now safely and proudly on the wall in the mans room. It really looks like a mans room now.
6) I've hired a new team leader at work and am loving her and the fact that she is taking on so much supervisory stuff. It makes my job much easier.
7) I'm still worried about my Sadie. She is getting some really big fatty cyst and she is still falling up the stairs. Her eating is getting some better.
8) My mom is not doing well. She doesn't sound well. She doesn't look well and she's not making good decisions for herself.
9) I'm loving this fall weather. I wish it could stay like this for 6 months.
10) I've been doing several things by myself lately and getting a taste of my former independence. Although, I'm loving it, I still like doing lots with my Cowboy.
11) I designed a great necklace at the craft fair this weekend and had it made. I put a pic up soon.
12) My feet have been killing me lately (actually my right arch). It seems like I always have some part of me hurting.
13) I really need to be losing weight. I get really frustrated that no matter how hard I try, the scale doesn't like me.
Friday, October 1, 2010
Do you remember when you were young and could go out on a Friday night and party until dawn? Do you remember being so excited to hang out, drink and flirt? Meeting people, mingling, talking about nothing was considered a thrilling evening.
So the thing is, I know that I used to do that. But for the life of me, I can't remember why I used to do that. I'm sure I enjoyed it or I wouldn't have done it so often.
Now, I almost dread the thought of going out. It's almost a chore. I love being at home. I love just hanging out with people I know and being casual and laid back. I love flirting with my husband.
Isn't it funny how things change in your life and what you did in the past only seems like a distant memory.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
My friend called me on my birthday and said, and I quote, "Just think, we, I mean you because I don't want to include myself in this, but you have lived half your life". To which I replied, "I did an age test on my sister's iphone, which I'm sure is right, and I'm going to live to be 101, so I haven't reached my halfway point yet."
Have you ever really thought about your halfway point? I wonder if I passed it yet or if it's still to come. I'm hoping it's still to come.
My birthday was good. Cowboy gave me a charm for my pandora bracelet. He took me out to dinner two nights in a row. I love my birthday. I wish I could still have a birthday party every year just like when I was a little girl.
Friday, September 10, 2010
I can feel the stress creeping back into my body. No! I spent two and 1/2 weeks trying to get rid of stress in my life and three days of work and it's all back. It probably didn't help that I got up and worked from 7:45a to 8p today.
You see, the thing about my job is that I get "punished" when I come back to work because the work just piles up and no one gets to do my job. So not fair. I love what I do and wouldn't change it for the world but it's just not fair that I have tons of work to catch up on.
The one ray of good news is that I hired a team leader that hopefully will take some of the responsibility off my plate and then I won't have so much to do.
But for now, I'm just going to relax this weekend--that's all that I can do.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
I highly recommend a two week vacation every year or at least every other year. I feel so much better and more relaxed then I have in ages. I did a really good job of not thinking about work (well except for the two huge proposals that I had to write). I also answered a few emails but that was more about saving my sanity then giving up vacation. My last week was spent in Florida with my best friend.
I hate that my friend lives so far away. I hate that I only get to see her twice a year. It is always so sad going to the airport. Lots of tears and hugs and tears and hugs. My heart aches when I have to leave.
I love spending time with her girls and doing things with them. I got to teach them to sew and we planted flowers together. It was the first time we also got to do a little grown up shopping. If they lived closer, there could be so many more memories like that.
It's amazing how our lives take such unexpected paths that lead us to where we are.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Cowboy and I hit the links today for one last round of golf before I head to Florida for the next week. On number 16, I hit my driver over a large pond onto the green and this far away from a hole in one. I couldn't believe how close I got. It was almost like being one number off from winning the lottery. If I had just been three inches closer.....
Monday, August 30, 2010
So I've been on vacation for a week now and loving every minute of it. Here's a recap of my week:
Tuesday: I scheduled a facial. There is a teaching academy across the street from my home and they had a cancellation. I was off to get my facial for $25 and an hour of relaxation. Except my wonderful husband keep calling me and texting me. Then it was off to get my hair done. It's been over a year since I've had a hair cut. Three inches cut off and highlighted with caramel and auburn. She also straightened my hair. Cowboy asked what I did to my hair. He said in needed curls. I was able to finish painting my basement floor in the afternoon.
Wednesday: We got up and scraped the windows outside. Then my brother brought the kids up. The boys went out for a golf outing and I took the girl. Little Miss and I went out for chips and salsa, her favorite. We then went shopping and she did well for herself. I thought Cowboy was a talker until I spent the day with her. My ears were almost tired at the end of the day. We all then went out for dinner at Stroud's. Yummy fried chicken.
Thursday: It was up early to go play golf. The course was nice but the play wasn't so great. It was a beautiful day. Home to take a nap and then we spent the evening painting the windows and garage doors. It was fun working on the project with my hubby.
Friday: Cowboy got up early with me and we walked Sadie around the neighborhood. I went out to lunch with some friends while Cowboy pillaged all the apples from a tree in the neighborhood. The house where the tree resides is vacant and we didn't want the apples to go to waste. We played golf with the son and DIL at one of the nicest courses in KC. Cowboy and I both played awesome. I had the most beautiful drives all day long. The scorecard went up on the refrigerator. We all went to out to dinner afterwards. It was a great day.
Saturday: We slept in and then hit the gym. I started peeling apple and making applesauce. It was a big undertaking. We made enough to freeze 12 quarts for this winter. Cowboy then got the motorcycle out and he took me to dinner at the Salty Iguana. Yummy Mexican food.
Sunday: We had a tee time at 11a at a little country course. As nice as the course was on Friday, this course was just the opposite. About on the 9th hole, we had a little tiff and didn't speak again until about the 15th hole. My boy runs his mouth a little to much sometimes. Then it was home to finish the apples. I bagged 10 quart bags for cobbler this winter. I also made one really good cobbler for dessert.
Today: Just the gym. I did a little work from home. But napped a lot.
I'm really enjoying my time off from work. I'm also looking forward to heading to Florida on Wednesday.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Yesterday, Cowboy suggested that we head down to my folks house. I've been wanting to see the parents and haven't been to the farm since Father's Day. We rolled out of the house early and were on our way by 7a. (Up that early on vacation, really, why??) Got home in good time. Mom was so excited to show me pictures of her trip to Washington DC.
My dad decided that he was going to fix lunch for us. I can't ever remember my dad cooking anything. Well, maybe he grilled way back when. He made us spaghetti and meatballs. It was okay but not gourmet. Just so cute that he did it and was so proud of himself for cooking for us.
I picked a bag full of apples off the tree in the back yard and made homemade apple sauce for the folks. Cowboy baked a loaf of beer bread for mom. So they were set.
My brother and his family came over and my big sister and her girl showed up. It was so good to spend the day with the family. I need family time so much.
Today, Cowboy and I hit the golf course early. I played a great round. The best part about it was that it was free. Cowboy and I then went to the gym his afternoon. On the way to the gym, we stopped at Petsmart to buy dog food and Cowboy decided to eat a dog biscuit in front of a very long line. Why would he do that? He is crazy, I mean seriously crazy. But I love him. Great first couple of days of vacation.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
In 1994, I had just graduated from my grad school. With my master's degree in hand, I went searching for a new job. I had two interviews, on with the Sex Offender treatment program in Lansing Maximum Prison and the other with a drug and alcohol treatment program in KC. I accepted the position in Lansing and then went to interview at NorthStar. For some reason, the job at NorthStar seemed like a better fit. I had worked with sex offenders in the past and lost my job because a new company took over and the contract was going up for rebid again--so I was hesitant to take the position again and lose my job all over again.
I ended my job and took off two weeks to vacation with my friend and then with my family. It was a great two weeks.
I then went to work at NorthStar and haven't left. My career there has been awesome. I have a job that I love and I'm doing something that I love on a daily basis. But I haven't ever taken a two week vacation since 1994. Even when I got married, I was only off for 8 days.
I told my boss this year, that I was going to take two weeks after our accreditation visit. That is done and over. Friday was my last work day until September 8th. I will be off a whole 17 days. No wearing a watch. No getting up early unless I want to. No place to be. No decisions to make.
This will be my time to rest. Relax. Take care of me. I am so excited.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
I have been horrible about blogging lately. It's not because I have nothing going on because I do. It's not because I have too much going on, because I don't. It's not because I haven't been motiviated, because I have. It 's just that I haven't done it. Shame, shame on my.
So here's my quick update-
-I lost my golf game and then I found it.
-I beat my husband on the golf course on Sunday and he pouted for two days.
-I have two days of work left and then I will have 17 days off, work three days, off 5 and work 2, then back to normal. (I haven't had a two week vacation since 1994)
-Cowboy continues to make me laugh because he is so funny.
-Sadie is eating again and driving me crazy from the minute I walk in the door until I take her for a walk every night--I guess all the worrying was for nothing.
-We have an opportunity to go to Hawaii next year and I am bound and determined to get into bikini shape if it kills me.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
I'm not sure that I've ever described my dad in my blog. Dad is very much like the farmer in the famous picture, holding the pitch fork. He doesn't show much emotion. He doesn't travel out of his comfort zone. He doesn't travel out of his 10 mile radius. In fact, he has only been to see me in my town 5 times in he last 10 years. He doesn't do things socially with others unless my mom makes the plans. So after telling you all this, I called my Dad on Monday night to see how he was doing. Mom has been on a trip with my brother since last Wednesday. Dad tells me he has dinner plans for Tuesday night. What? Who? Where? He called a classmate from high school. He had three girls the exact same ages of my oldest sister, me and my brother. His wife died two years ago. So my dad called him and invited him out to dinner. Ahh... Who is this man and what did you do with my dad. I'm so proud of him for breaking out of his comfort zone and making social plans.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
I know this is so random. But am I the only person in the world that hates toilet seat covers? Really is it that important to have a rug on the top of your shitter? Is it really decoration for the bathroom to make the john look prettier? I just don't get it.
The only reason I ask, is that I have taken three clients shopping for start up apartment supplies in the last two weeks and the first thing they want to buy is a toilet seat cover. Really? I'd be going for the bagel toaster or microwave. But a toilet seat cover.... I just don't get it.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Cowboy and I got up at 5a to head out to spend the day with our friends, Freddy and Sue. We were at their house in April and spent the afternoon with them. They had just had a flood in their kitchen and were going to have to redo the whole space. I told Sue that when she was ready, I would come and help her gel stain her cabinets to make them look old and worn. The boys could go fishing. Well, today was the day for the project.
Let me add that, Fred and Sue live a very modest lifestyle and have very little money. Their house is a constant work in progress and it seems like something is always going wrong. They don't have air conditioning except for a teeny tiny window unit in their bedroom. It was a hot day and I sweated a lot. The cabinets got done and looked great.
The boys went fishing and didn't fare as well. The caught a few fish but while they were out fishing, Fred's brakes went out on their one and only vehicle. Fred commented that he didn't have the money to get it fixed and wasn't sure what he was going to do. Cowboy and another guy, Steve, jumped in and went to work. They tore out the broken parts, went to town and bought new parts at the store. In a matter of no time at all, the truck was fixed an on the road again.
Freddy is to proud to ask for help, so he traded some old guns for the work that Cowboy did. Cowboy said the guns weren't worth the money he spent but he would never let Freddy know that. Freddy also sent us home with tomatoes, cucumbers, okra, and peppers. Cowboy considers it paid in full.
When Cowboy told me how he helped his friend out, it made my heart full.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
(Dedicated to my Friend)
I got a call from my tearful friend yesterday. Amidst the sobs and sniffles, I hear, "I have no People".
We all need people. I remember moving away from my home into a new city alone for the first time. There is a feeling you get when it dawns on you that you have no one. It's really no one in close proximity to you for support or help in your time of need. You feel incredibly vulnerable and alone. You have really scary thoughts like, if I got really sick and couldn't help myself, will anyone look for me? Will anyone miss me? Will anyone care?
I remember there would be weekends that I would leave work on Friday and not talk to a single person until Monday morning. I would sometimes just walk around the house and just talk to myself, so that I could hear something.
When you are alone, you have to build your family. That is so easy to say and so hard to do. You feel like you are imposing upon people. You feel like you are a bother. And it's so hard to ask for help.
But as you ask, as you build support, you gain a family. One day you wake up and you have "People".
My Dear Friend, You Have People!
Sunday, August 1, 2010
This weekend golf was not on the agenda. I can't say that I was to sad. I had my fill of golf last weekend so a break was in the cards.
This weekend we went to a family reunion for Cowboy. It was for his adopted mom's family. We have gone for the past several years so it feels like family now. Cowboy's best friend, WD, and his family made it back from Tennessee. It was good that Cowboy got to spend some time with him. It has been a year since he has seen him.
On the way down, we stopped to see Ross and Betty. They lived across the street from Cowboy when he lived down in that part of the country. It was good to see them for couple of hours. Ross had a stroke a year ago and now has to use a walker. He's 90 and looks great. He's frustrated that he's not like he was but he looks great.
We ended up staying the whole day, even going out to eat with WD and his family. Thank goodness we have a wonderful neighbor that let Sadie out a couple of times for us.
WD's wife and I were talking a dinner and I commented that Cowboy has OCD but can't ever remember what it's called. I got his attention across the table and asked what he had. "ADT" his reply. Gotta love my home alarm guy.
Today, the OCD Cowboy detailed my SUV. It looks great. For all the challenges he gives me, I can proudly drive around in a super clean vehicle.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
So for the past 5 days, my life has been consumed by golf. We got to have my nephew up for the weekend and loved every minute of it. His dad brought him up on Friday and the three of us played a round of golf. On Saturday, Cowboy, the nephew and I played a round of golf and Sunday we played again. Saturday and Sunday night, I took him to the driving range. He was a qualifier for the State Kansas Junior Golf Association state tournament. We gave him the opportunity to play on courses similar to what he would be playing in the tournament.
Yesterday, I went to watch him play his first round. I felt like I was on a miniature PGA tour. I was fun walking and watching him play. He was young in his age group but did a good job. We are very proud of him.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
My wonderful husband cleaned my golf clubs today. I think he has been feeling a little guilty for playing golf with his son twice this week and with his buddy another day. He has been treating me extra special all week. I don't think that I'll complain to loudly.
On a side note, my nephew is coming up for the weekend to practice his golf skills with me. We're going to play Friday, Saturday and Sunday. He starts his state golf tournament on Tuesday so we are going to give him some practice on courses similiar to what he will be playing on.
Monday, July 19, 2010
You know what insanity is? It's spending the day at an amusement park with the family on Saturday from 11a to 5p. The heat index was only 110 degrees and there was no wind and only black asphalt pavement. That is only part of the insanity. I decided to ride the roller coasters like I was a 20 year old. Well, this 45 year old body wasn't to pleased at the end of the day.
So let's just add a little more insanity....We played golf yesterday in the middle of the day. And not only did we play 18 holes of golf, we played 27 holes of golf. It was freakin' hot. Even my new golf shirt didn't whisk away the sweat. I was ringing wet.
So tonight on the way home from work, I told Cowboy that I wasn't walking until it cooled down. But my neighbor caught me and I went for a walk, then cleaned out the hot tub and then pulled weeds from the garden. I must be crazy!
Thursday, July 15, 2010
This is why I love my husband with all my heart.
Today, he went back to my work and found the girl that hit his truck. She was a little nervous to talk to him but did. He gave her a card that was somewhat spiritual that said even in the bad times look for the rainbows. He wrote a note that said, "Not all bad things that happen to us, end bad".
Inside the card, he had a fresh $100 bill for her. Her eyes were as big as saucers. She was just laid off her job due to her pregnancy. She's due on August 2nd.
(He had talked the auto shop into fixing his truck for $100 less than the insurance company paid him)
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Our agency is certified by CARF. It is a three year certification and the visit starts tomorrow. I've been really stressed by this and I'm sure a total bitch to my staff to get their stuff done so that we are ready. I will be really glad when this is all over. I am vowing to not put work in front of family for the rest of the summer.
I'm going to try to rest, relax and rejuvenate!
Sunday, July 11, 2010
I am very worried about my Sadie girl. Her appetite is gone. Don't forget that my girl is extremely food focused an has eaten every breakfast at 5:30a and every dinner at 6p or her stomach gets all growly and such. Today, she didn't eat one thing until 8p.
This has been going on for a week or so. She still eats some but about half of what she used to eat. She still drinks. Poops and pees. Cowboy went to the pet store and got some "gravy" for her food. She'll eat a little better with that but still not like she used to.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
The Cowboy and I had a jammed packed weekend that was "all about me" as the Cowboy would say. Friday night, Cowboy decided that he would walk around the neighborhood with me because he was convinced that I wanted him to so I could show him off.
One of my most absolutely favorite things about our neighborhood is that people are out in their yard and stop and talk. We visited with several neighbors and even met a really cool couple that just moved into the neighborhood. John and Ashley are newlyweds. She told me she was a social worker--I liked here even more then.
Saturday was golf day with a twist. My friend Dr. T has kissed several frogs since her divorce. However, this weekend we got to meet her potential Prince. They hit the course with us. She seemed like she was having such a great time and the Prince was awesome. Cowboy doesn't say much about people he just meets but said he "liked the shit outta him". Huge endorsement.
Sunday, we had a surprise visit from Rob and Stacey.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
I swear that our clients at work are crazy. They are nuts and are acting like they have no common sense. Rules, so what. Guidelines, oh well. I just want to go in my office, close the door and never come out again. Doesn't sound so good for the manager to hide does it.
I'm praying the craziness goes away.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
I'm so proud of my nephew. He has made it to the state golf tournament again this year. He is young in for his age group and played against mostly high school students. I have watched him grow up playing golf and he has become an amazing golfer. I remember when he was about 2 years old, he would walk around with his plastic golf club saying, "I'm Tiger Woods". (pre-tiger woods scandal). He has practiced alot and played alot to get where he's at. Great news is that he is playing at a course near us, so we will get to see him.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
I swear that the Universe is off it's axis (is that even the right term). Everything is absolutely crazy this week and some of last week. I'm getting so annoyed with having to deal with crazy people that being a greeter at Wal-Mart is starting to look very appealing. It almost like everything that is happening has to be just a little crazier than the next.
I NEED A VACATION AWAY FROM THIS UNIVERSE....Any suggestions???
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Dog has been pooped this morning
Call Title Mortage people today
Eat watermelon and banana for breakfast
Poop yourself this morning
Luv u, have a better day!
PS. don't forget your lunch, phone, papers, (lights out) etc.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Monday, June 21, 2010
Today, I had him meet me at work so he could spray the weeded around one of the home's we run. He was walking around the yard with me, when I noticed a car had hit is truck. We went over there and a really young 19 year old girl was caught up on his bumper. Normally, Cowboy would blow a gasket and cuss and yell. I was braced for the wrath of Cowboy to come pouring down on this poor little girl.
Instead, he calmly helped her get the vehicles unstuck and then let me go about the business of dealing with her insurance company. He was very fortunate that she had insurance. Actually, that was the first thing out of her mouth..."I have insurance".
Later, he flagged her down and apologized for getting so upset.
He did so good. I was so proud of him for containing his anger and looking at the situation just a little bit differently.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Cowboy and I went to the farm for the weekend. It's been a while since we have spent the whole weekend on the farm. So for father's day, we headed down to the farm.
We met up with mom and dad and then headed to town for dinner. Town is about 4 miles away and has a population of about 50. But there is a cafe there. It used to be the store and the restaurant was a couple of doors down. (I worked at the old Town and Country Cafe in high school.) A couple came in and made the store into a cafe and moved the store part next door. They serve a great dinner. I decided to pick up the tab--it was a total of $28 for all four of us. Bargain!
Saturday morning, Dad, Cowboy and I headed out to the golf course to meet my brother and nephew for a big golf challenge. We got there at 8a and no one was there to rent us a cart so we started playing. (Golf courses in the city open at dawn.) We had a blast. I did win a couple of holes outright from the "boys". We threw in a game of bingo, bango, bongo. Cowboy and I were the big losers of the game and on the score card. My nephew is 14 and is an amazing golfer. He beat us all.
Saturday afternoon, mom and I went grocery shopping. Then it was home to make chocolate chip cookies for dad and potato salad for Sunday lunch. It was a lazy evening at home.
Sunday morning, mom and I ran to town to buy a few birthday gifts for her great-granddaughter. I finished fixing lunch for 18 of us. Country style BBQ ribs, baked beans, and jello salad. It all turned out very yummy. The most of the family was there. The day was loud, crazy and a lot of fun.
It was good to be with my mom and dad for the whole weekend. It was good to be around the farm and get re-centered and relaxed.
Happy Father's Day Dad. You have done an outstanding job of raising an amazing family.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
I sit down to blog and have a little case of writers block or actually I have so many things that I want to write about that I write nothing, no filters. So I'm just going to put my randomness out there.
I was bored out of my mind this weekend. We didn't do anything and I didn't have any energy to do anything. I laid on my couch a lot and watched TV a lot. I was such a slug.
Our garden is growing but we've had to re-plant part of it three times that I'm not sure what is where and now the damn deer think it's their salad bar. Where is Cowboy's gun when you need it.
Our basement had water in it yesterday. All related to the freakin' rain that won't stop. Bummer was that although we have tons of storage, I had three boxes that were in the room that got wet and they contained old scrap books, pictures and other stuff. I spent two hour going through old emails from boyfriends and pictures when I was stick thin. Oh to be skinny again.
I went to the eye doctor on Friday. My eye doctor is so hot. I seriously thought about asking him to have an affair. I did call Cowboy and told him that if anything happened to home, I would be okay since I would be a doctor's wife. I wonder if it would be wrong to ask him to be the father of my baby. I'm serious about that. He asked be to look at his ear, he had nice ears. Where else do you want me to look, Dear Doctor???? Yum-yum.
We're headed to the farm this weekend and I can't wait. It seems like forever since I've seen my momma and daddy.
Cowboy and I are doing really well. I love that man. I was telling him the other day that I was amazed how we just seemed to get on the same page more and more as time goes by.
I have all these crafty ideas rolling around in my head but I haven't done to make them come to life. I really worry that sometimes that I have a few bi-polar symptoms--periods of mania and bouts of depression--all very mild.
I continue to be very frustrated about my weight. I am going to the doctor on Friday--complete physical. I can't keep gaining weight or I'll weigh 300 by the time I'm 50. UGH
Monday, June 7, 2010
Just a same recap in case I haven't talked about this lately. Cowboy has OCD and he is meticulous, especially about our vehicles. He also has a short fuse and likes to rant and rave, at me.
I picked up a 31" used TV for my brother and didn't get it unloaded before I went to work. As I was driving, it tipped over and left a little scratch on the window seal. Really, barely a scratch at all. Most people wouldn't have even noticed. But Cowboy did.
When I asked him to help me unload it, he started his ranting and raving. I told him to stop and he did for a second and then started again. I told him not to start on me. He said fine and then added, "don't talk to me before you leave."
I then sat a box down in the garage. Cowboy asked what was in the box. My come back, "you told me not to talk to you". I went on into the house and started watching TV. About 20 minutes later, he came down from the computer room and was civil to me.
It is really the first time, I didn't listen to his ranting and raving and told him to stop and he did. He thought about it and apologized about it later. Maybe he can learn. Maybe.....
Sunday, June 6, 2010
We had a great weekend. My friend, Dr. T and I went to the movies. Sex in the City 2. Loved it, but didn't think it was as good as the first. It seems that I see those movies at the right time in my life to fit what is happening to me.
It was really good to get together with her and spend time with my friend.
Saturday, we went garage sale-ing and then came back to the house to clean it. We got a little sidetracked when Cowboy bought a new bike. I'll have to post pictures. He can't decide which motorcycle he will keep. The boy cannot keep them both.
We got all our flowers planted around the house. We got 1/2 the house cleaned. Laundry done.
Today was beautiful out and we hit the golf course. We played with a couple of guy that weren't really that fun. That's twice in a row we've had bad luck with our golf partners. However, I played so much better. My goal is to shoot in the 90's on a regular basis. I've done it twice in a row so maybe I'm getting there.
Right now, Cowboy is watching a chick flick with me. I love that man.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
I was in the shower this morning and Cowboy heard a door bell. Ding Dong. Ding dong. He comes downstairs and check the front door, no one there. He checks the back door and looks out the windows, nothing.
When I get out of the shower, he asked if I heard the doorbell. No, I was in the shower. He said it was really weird that heard the doorbell but no one was there.
On my way out the door, I picked up my phone and saw that my co-worker had called. Her ring on my phone is a doorbell.
Mystery solved but funny that Cowboy was so stumped.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Oh my gosh, the weekend was just what I needed. I came home a little early on Friday and took off my watch. I didn't want to be tied to a time schedule and I didn't want to make grand plans.
Friday night, Cowboy and I jumped in the car and went to FiveGuys for dinner. We love their hamburgers. On our way, we saw a deer crossing the street (4 lane in town) and honked and slowed down to watch it cross in front of us. Only to see the car coming at us, slow down and hit the deer. Cowboy was pissed. It was senseless and so sad.
Saturday, Cowboy and I bought a great used car for his cousin's girlfriends daughter. We discussed keeping it if they didn't like it. It was fully loaded and drove like a dream. Cowboy started detailing it when we got home and I watered the garden. It was then off to the golf course. The first six holes were great. Cowboy and I got to play by ourselves. Then we joined the two guys in ahead of us, as the play slowed down. They were not fun to play with and we didn't enjoy ourselves very much. We have been pretty lucky that we always get to play with such nice people. Not so much on Saturday.
Cowboy grilled on Saturday night and we had an awesome dinner. Brats, pork chops and chicken on the grill along with crab stuffed mushrooms and fresh spinach. Yummy.
Sunday, we took the car to Cowboy's cousin and his girlfriend. They were thrilled with the car and loved it. I got to drive it. Sooo nice. We then went on to a friend of Cowboy's, Fred and Sue. Freddy and Sue are very simple country folks. They stopped all they were doing and provided us such a warm welcome. We sat in their yard in the yard swing and drank beer and visited all afternoon. They then grilled hamburgers and hot dogs along with homegrown asparagus and fresh salad from their garden. It was a perfect afternoon.
Sue said that Freddy had commented to her that he wasn't sure why Cowboy was his friend but he was grateful. There is only a simple answer to that. Freddy and Sue are great people and Cowboy is a great judge of character.
Monday, we got up and went to breakfast with our neighbors and then played golf with the son and daughter-in-law. I played great. We played on a beautiful course and it was a great afternoon.
I was so sad to see the weekend come to an end. I need more time with Cowboy just like that.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Just random thoughts:
1) work continues to amaze me...specifically the staff that I work with amazes me. Really, can't you just do your job.
2) my hubby has been very good to me as he should be after his stunt last week.
3) I hate having periods...I told you random. Especially heavy flows and hormonal headaches.
4) I think my dog is getting old and slowing down. However, she is learning to walk around our neighborhood without being on a leash.
5) I think I want to drink a lot of beer tomorrow night.
6)I'm so excited about a 3 day weekend.
7) We've had to replant our garden twice and I'm thinking we might have to re-do for a third time.
8) I planted elephant ears 1 foot deep instead of 1 inch deep and they still came up. Sometimes I really wonder where my mind has gone.
9) I've been playing lots of scrabble on my iphone and love it. I've never played the game before.
10) I haven't slept well all week. I think I'm running on fumes. No wonder staff and my period are driving me to drink.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
On Thursday, I called Cowboy about noon to see what he was doing. He had decided to take a trip with his son out of town to look at a job. They had finished up giving an estimate for the job and stopped to play a game of pool. I needed to let Cowboy know that I had to work late. He said he'd be home about the time that I was getting there. Great no problem.
At 7:30p, I called again and Cowboy was still in Pittsburg playing pool. No need to wait for dinner he'd be on his way home soon.
Around 10:30p, the DIL sent a text, asking if I had heard from the 'boys'. She was concerned that the son was drinking and would be driving. After a 3rd, DUI. I texted back, saying Cowboy wouldn't let that get out of hand.
Finally at 11p, I got ahold of Cowboy. He said he had been playing pool and all night and hadn't drank that much in 20 years. He promised to stay the night and not drive home.
I called the DIL to say I heard from the boys and they were drinking but not going to be driving home. They would be staying at her brother's house, then she let me know her brother was out of town and they didn't have a key. WTF??? GREAT
I didn't sleep well at all. I tossed and turned. Had weird dreams and was pissed.
At 7a, Cowboy called. I was pretty cold to him. Saying I was glad he was safe. They drove home 2 hours after drinking for 9 hours. Brilliant move boys. Cowboy was at his son's house.
I had the day to cool down a little. Wasn't really pissed as much as I was really disappointed and felt pretty disrespected.
Cowboy apologized. I said my piece. He was pretty humble. He promised to never do that again. And I have been the "Queen" all weekend.
Marriage is tough.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
I have always said that there are two types of employees, those that just show up for a paycheck and those that want to have a career. I personally think that I am a career person. I work had, take on lots of responsibility, take great pride in my work and do it all without complaining or causing problems for my employer.
I am super annoyed but those that just show up for a paycheck. Really, just plain annoyed. Just this week, I found out that we had an employee who would leave from her shift for hours at a time and would have sex in our work van. ICK. What is wrong with her? (We actually fired her months ago.)
Another employee is stealing from our clients and leaving long before her shift is over. "She done her time and worked hard" so why not. Really, are you crazy???
Here's the topper. We have given an employee a corrective action for not completing her delinquent paperwork for weeks at a time. She also calls in frequently when she is not sick. She has now filed a grievance against her boss for making her do her job. Really. Lazy, lazy girl. Get a clue and step up and do your job. Stop blaming your failings on your boss. She has been more than generous in giving you chance after chance.
One of the biggest job dissatisfier I have is with the employees that just show up.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
My Cowboy had a birthday on Monday. He turned the big 54. We didn't do much to celebrate but I did fix him a big old german chocolate cake. Surprise, surprise, it's Wednesday and the cake is gone. I had two pieces of it and guess who had the rest. Well almost the rest of the cake. He shared with some neighbors and his son.
I think my Cowboy is so handsome when he has his hat on. He makes my heart melt.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Here are a few pictures from my weekend.
Cowboy and I went home for the weekend. My mom's first cousin (quite a bit younger) came back to Kansas for a visit. Tina had not been back since her father's funeral in 1997. She invited my mother out to dinner at the restaurant that her father built. So Saturday night, my Mom and Dad, Cowboy and I and my sister and her husband met Tina and her husband for dinner. It was a really cool evening.
On Sunday, all the siblings came over for Mother's Day. My dear brother was going to trim the bushes in front of the house for my Mom. A slip with the hedge clippers landed him in the hospital emergency room for 3 hours with his wife on Mother's Day. Three stitches later and he is recovering.
Cowboy and my niece's boyfriend are celebrating their birthday next week so in addition to having a Mother's Day celebration, we celebrated their 23rd and 54th birthdays. (Can you guess who's is what).
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Although I don't consider myself a step-mom, I get stuck in the position of having some situations that makes me feel like the wicked step-mom that never gets put in a win-win situation.
Because the daughter is such a mess, Cowboy wants to help her out again. He is talking about buying another car for her. Never mind, we are still paying for the last car and she hawked it for $500.
Really, what do I say. If I say, don't do it, I become the bad guy. But with all my might, I cannot agree with it. So I'm in a lose-lose situation. And I hate, hate it.
Cowboy feels so bad about what she is doing that his response is to help her. He doesn't have the money and he would have to use my (technically) savings account. He says he will get a job to pay it back. WTF, really. You don't want a job now for us but he will get one to enable his daughter. He wants to know that he has done all he can to help her. Really, as if he hasn't done enough.
We can't talk about this because it leads to arguments. We are on such opposing side of this situation.
I will pray and pray some more.
Monday, May 3, 2010
I haven't blogged for awhile because I have so much to write about that I didn't know where to start so I have avoided blogging altogether. So I'll sum up most....
- The daughter has been a mess. Moved into a single women's home to gain support and help and left 3 days later with no place to go. Lived in a shelter, with a random guy, then spent a night in jail, and is now living in a hotel. Cowboy has been so upset and feeling very helpless with the whole situation. It has caused many sleepless night and lots of emotional distancing as he isn't good about talking about that situation.
-Work has been somewhat okay. Lots of pressure to get more done than I have time for but it's manageable. I had to have a conversation with one of my supervisors about her lack of work. I was really getting resentful about her 'hanging' out while I was working my ass off. She has gotten better.
-My mom was in town for the weekend. I love spending time with my mom but each time that I do, it makes me realize how much older my mom is getting and how much I feel the need to take care of her when she is around. She looks frail and weak and not to steady on her feet. She makes me tired.
-Golf has been good and then really good. I shot a 90 on the course and was thrilled but then the next week, it looked like I hadn't played golf in a long long time. Cowboy and I have been finding our grove on the course and no longer have any major meltdowns. Knock on wood.
-I been really thinking about the groove that couples get into, some that brings comfort and some that takes advantage of the other person. I don't want to take advantage of Cowboy and all that he does for me. I'm trying to do things a little differently and get a little frustrated when he doesn't notice or says something that is pretty negative.
-I love my new hot tub. I've been in it almost every night. It does help with my overall soreness.
-I would love to get my kitchen re-done and am looking at ways to do it for less than $4000.
Before we can do that, we have so many outside projects that need to be done. Painting, deck power washing, staining, and on and on.
-I'm constantly worried about money and have chosen to ignore my checking account but that doesn't seem to work when I get nasty overdraft letters from the bank. I really need to win the powerball.
-I can't even begin to talk about my weight.
Enough for the night.
Monday, April 26, 2010
I was washing the dishes tonight. Cowboy walked up behind me and hugged me and squeezed my butt. I turned to him and said, "You used to do that all the time."
Cowboy: "That was when we were in the honeymoon phase."
Me: "I don't want the honeymoon to end."
Cowboy: "The only way that I have found for the honeymoon not to end is to have lots of them and I have had more than most men that I know."
Seriously, how could you not laugh at my husband...silly boy.