The Cost of Vanity

Isn't it amazing what women pay for vanity? There are manicures, pedicures, eye brow waxing, bikini waxing, fake fingernails, teeth whitening, not to mention make-up and hair products. We will have our hair colored, hairs plucked, faces hydrated and squeezed. And oh so much more.

Keep in mind I am not a girly girl. I have rough heels and bushy eyebrows. I get my hair done about one to two times a year. I break my fingernails weekly. And just recently my toenails finally grew out the polish from my last pedicure.

So for the wedding, I've decided that I want to be a little girly. I want my hair done, toes and feet pretty and great fingernails. But I also want to have a tan to make my pink dress look a little prettier.

So it's off to tanning I go. I haven't tanned for 10 years. I use sunscreen and haven't laid out since the 80's. The whole thing is a new experience. More high powered beds that tan faster. My first time I went I stayed for 6 minutes, then 8 minutes, and another 8 minutes. So Monday night, I thought I needed to go for 9 minutes.

Here is the real cost of vanity....a red body, as red as my candied apple jammies. I radiate heat and I'm sure I glow in the dark. I know, I know. This is so unhealthy. I didn't sleep well because of my vanity and my jeans were so uncomfortable today. No more 9 minutes. No more bright red. I should be done but I want to look good in my dress. Maybe 7 minutes.