Sunday, August 10, 2008

Back to Our Story

I had moved to a different city and hoped to move on to the next chapter of my life. I bought a house, had a good job and was ready for a relationship that would lead to marriage. I became more involved with outside activities and organizations and had let all my friends know that I was interested in dating. Life seemed to be going in a good direction. I was ready to leave Cowboy behind and not wait around for him to show up at random times, and then leave again.

On a Monday night around 9 months after I moved, I got a call from my dad. He said that they had received a call from Cowboy looking for me and left a number and asked me to call him. My heart started racing all over again. He had that effect on me, still under my skin and in my blood. I took a deep breath and called him. It was good to hear his voice. He was getting divorced and said he had been thinking about me. We started seeing each other again. He was different from the party boy. He was the hurt boy. He didn't want to get serious and didn't want to get married. He said that he felt safe around me and that I was the only woman he ever knew that didn't want something from him.

I had decided that I was going to date him for about six months and then decide if I would still see him or end the relationship. We had fun. He had a key to my house and I had one to his. It was a long distance relationship and we saw each other every weekend and we would occasionally sneak in a week night. I was falling in love with a guarded heart. He was still the wounded man saying he was never getting married again.

My time line came and went and I did nothing. I think I could tell that we weren't going forward but that was better than not being together so I stayed. I remember clearly when it started to end. He told me that he was going to help a "friend" from work move. Her husband was sleeping around and he had left her with four small girls. Something inside of me just knew that there was more to the story. He was still in the relationship with me but he was also out. We were together from March to Feb and then it was done. My heart was broken and he had moved on. This is our story and how we seemed to work. I needed to get over him. I needed to be done, but how? When?

Could I really move on?


Lynilu said...

I hated hit-and-run relationships. The pendulum swings drove me crazy. I'm glad you didn't give up like I so often did. I'll bet Cowboy is glad, too!

Caroline said...

You are right...he is in your blood.

Lynilu said...

One of my thoughts about it.

Monogram Queen said...

Very interesting story, Stacy and I were alot like that believe it or not.